In order to adopt a confident attitude, it is essential that you know how to respect a set of guidelines that we will detail below:
- Speak with confidence
“Do you mind if I say something, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry, I was wondering, I’m not quite sure but I think…” It’s obvious that someone who expresses himself in this manner does not convey confidence.
You should use expressions like: “maybe, I think, do you mind if?”, we transmit confidence with our words and the choice of words is important.
It may take some time, but we can learn new vocabulary and expressions that convey confidence.
How can you transmit confidence with your words?
- Through positive statements, avoid example denials by replacing certain words:
- “I can’t” with “I will”,
- “I have” with “I want”,
- “I should” with “I decide”…
- Use confident body language
Recent research shows that both the posture we adopt and our non-verbal language can affect our brain. If your body is uncomfortable, your mind is likely to be too. If you act confidently with controlled gestures and attitudes, your mind will also be confident.
Some very specific advice to keep in mind:
- Always stand or sit up straight.
- Keep your head up.
- Relax your shoulders.
- Distribute your body weight evenly between both legs.
- When standing, keep your hands and arms parallel to your body.
- Keep eye contact with those you are speaking to
- Smile when the context and theme allow for it.
- Speak slowly and not too loudly.
Practice these points until you can use them naturally in any situation.
- Have a confident image
How do you feel about your body? If you are the first one who doesn’t feel good about yourself or your body, it will affect your self-confidence.
Probably, if you compare yourself with other people, you will see imperfections in your body. But even people who may consider that they have a perfect body almost certainly do not consider themselves perfect and find fault with it.
How can you gain confidence with your body? Without a doubt, the best technique is not to try to change it but to accept yourself as you are even if it sounds like a cliché. Think about what your strengths and weaknesses are and don’t compare yourself. The charm and charisma you can give off does not depend at all on your body.
On the other hand, what you can work on is the personality that your clothes and the way you dress can transmit. Try to be yourself, respecting the social codes of your environment and your company, but make a difference. That you feel comfortable and that your clothes allow you to feel comfortable and safe.
How can managers support and help their employees?
– By establishing daily routines and contact. The objective is to establish periodic meetings in groups or individually but known by the team so that our collaborators, partners, suppliers, know that we continue to be present.
– Offering different options as communication channels. E-mail is no longer enough.Since we do not see each other, it is necessary to create personal links, through video calls for example. This gives more personality to the conversation, especially when dealing with more sensitive or difficult issues. Also, the use of chat can be very powerful, especially when it comes to internal conversations.
– It is advisable to establish “rules of engagement”. Working remotely is more effective when it is based on clear expectations about the frequency and manner of communication. For example, “we will use video to hold daily meetings at 9am but if there is something urgent, we will use the chat”.
It is also a positive approach to explain how and when we are going to be available for our partners, “better in the afternoon via chat or call me on this number. Ideally, these communication rules should be established during the first online meeting.
– NEVER cancel a “One on One” meeting, this can cause negative feelings; we can change the date and propose another time, but never cancel it.
– Offer informal communication situations; recover the virtual coffee machine space.The easiest thing is to leave a few minutes at the beginning to exchange about non-formal topics; how about the weekend? what a change of temperature! Small talk transmits proximity.
Other techniques that are beginning to be developed that, although may seem a little superficial, they provide many benefits such as an After Work get together, meeting after work once a week and chatting with the team. Why not organize a Pizza Party or celebrate a colleague’s birthday virtually, maybe as a surprise…
– Offer encouragement and support; listen to difficulties and stress, sometimes simply by asking a very easy question: how is the remote work going?
– And finally, try to have at least one face-to-face meeting at least once a year.Teleworking is fantastic but it is important that we keep a closer contact with the team even if it is only from time to time and we meet in person.
- Do your research: Research the market to determine the average salary for your position and level of experience in your geographic area.
- Make a strong case: Prepare a list of your accomplishments and contributions to the company, and how your salary increase would help achieve the company’s goals.
- Choose the right time: Choosing the right time to talk about a raise is important. Choose a time when your employer is in a favorable position to consider your requests.
- Speak with confidence: Demonstrate your courage and commitment to the company when discussing a raise and be prepared to answer questions and justify your request.
- Be flexible: Be prepared to negotiate and consider alternative options, such as a bonus or improved benefits.
- Be persistent: If your request for a raise is rejected, don’t get discouraged. Ask for feedback and work to improve and prepare for another opportunity in the future.
What to do if your company doesn’t want to raise your salary
- Accept the decision graciously: Although you may be disappointed, it is important to maintain a professional attitude and try to understand the reasons behind your company’s decision.
- Ask for feedback: Ask your manager or supervisor what you can do to improve and prepare for future pay raise opportunities.
- Continue to perform well in your job: Continue to demonstrate your value and contribution to the company, and work to exceed your goals and objectives.
- Look for growth opportunities: If your company is not able to give you a raise, look for growth and development opportunities within the organization, such as special projects or training programs.
- Consider your options: If after some time, your company still does not offer you a raise, it is important to consider your options and evaluate the possibility of seeking a job opportunity at another company.
- Take advantage of other opportunities: If your company is not able to give you a raise, consider other opportunities, such as a benefits plan, flexible schedules, training, and development opportunities.
It’s important to keep a good attitude even if your company doesn’t give you a raise. Here are some reasons why this is important:
- Demonstrates your professionalism: Maintaining a good attitude and handling the situation in a mature and professional manner can demonstrate your commitment to your job and your company, which can help you be considered for future opportunities.
- Improve your relationship with your colleagues and superiors: A positive attitude can help improve your relationships with your colleagues and superiors, which can be beneficial to your career and your well-being at work.
- It can help you focus on other things: Accepting the situation and maintaining a good attitude can help you focus on other important things at work, such as your responsibilities and goals, rather than constantly worrying about a pay raise.
- It can help you keep perspective: Keeping a good attitude can help you keep perspective and remember that there are many more important things in life and work than money.
- It can help you stay motivated: Even if you don’t get a raise, you can stay motivated to work hard and prove your worth to the company, so that soon you may have another chance at a raise.
There are several indicators that may indicate that it is time to close a negotiation. Some of them are:
- Both sides have reached mutual agreement on all major points of the negotiation.
- All parties involved are satisfied with the terms of the agreement.
- All important questions and concerns have been covered.
- Final terms have been reached and there is nothing more to negotiate.
- Both sides have reached a point where no further negotiation is possible without causing a significant loss.
It is important to keep in mind that closing a negotiation does not mean that no further negotiation is possible in the future. Once a negotiation is closed, the parties involved can continue to work together to improve the agreement and resolve any problems that may arise.
To close a negotiation, it is important to have reached a mutual agreement with the other party and to have covered all the important points. Once both parties agree on the terms, an official document detailing the terms of the agreement can be drafted and signed. It is advisable to carefully review the document before signing it and make sure that everything is correct. If it is a commercial negotiation, a payment or deposit may be required to close the transaction.
When to know that we cannot continue negotiating
You can tell that an agreement cannot be reached in a negotiation when:
- Both sides cannot reach mutual agreement on important points of the negotiation.
- Significant progress is not being made in the negotiation.
- One side refuse to budge on its demands and there is no middle ground.
- One of the parties withdraws from the negotiation.
- All options have been exhausted and no viable solution is in sight.
- A point has been reached where the cost of continuing to negotiate is greater than the potential benefit of reaching an agreement.
It is important to keep in mind that even if an agreement is not reached, the parties involved can learn from the experience and use what they have learned in future negotiations.
It is necessary to speak well, and good public speaking is, perhaps, even more necessary because of the repercussion that our words can have, and how far our reach extends. However, paradoxically, we are not prepared nor educated for this. Thus, it is worthwhile to prepare ourselves and rehearse beforehand in order to gain confidence in our speech and in what we are going to say.
Currently, with the implementation of teleworking due to the Covid-19 crisis, a new relationship model with our employees, suppliers or customers is more frequently seen. The arrival of video calls in our day to day and doing most of our work remotely. Something that we were not too accustomed to, has now taken control in our lives.
Surely, on the occasion when you have had to give a public presentation it made you feel certain nervousness, feeling observed in front of a number of people, even more so if those people are unknown to you.
Public speaking is intimidating; the brain feels intimidated as we feel in danger when we are observed. Most people are afraid of public speaking. It causes stress and anxiety. This is normal, but it can be controlled if we prepare ourselves well and learn to conquer the fear of fear.
The human brain is developed to protect us. In this way, when faced with a specific stress situation such as public speaking, we are faced with a double response.
1) Run away or,
If we decide to face (“fight”) the public presentation, many people are likely to feel unwell: stomachache, excessive sweating, and palpitations, even in extreme cases, anxiety attacks. How can we work to overcome these fears?
Let’s discuss 5 techniques that will help you lose that fear:
- First, accept the fact that feeling fear is normal.
- Discover the cause of your fear of public speaking, most of the time it is irrational. Convince yourself that you are an expert and people want to listen to you!
- Learn communication techniques and get inspired by others (for example, TED Talks)
- Transform your fear into enthusiasm, studies show that they are very similar emotions.
- Keep in mind that THE GREAT speakers are also (or have been) afraid at some point. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Steven Spielberg, Elon Musk, and Tom Ferris have al confessed on several occasions to being somewhat shy and intimidated when speaking in public. Even Marilyn Monroe confessed to being very shy!
One last piece of advice that, despite being very simple, is very effective; always have some water to drink nearby. In stressful situations we can get a dry mouth and we should avoid that uncomfortable feeling, besides, a little water in a stressful moment can help us calm down.
Sometimes it is not possible to reach an agreement, or it simply is not interesting, but it is important to understand that there are good and bad reasons for not reaching an agreement.
Whenever you identify one of these three good reasons, it is very important that you stop negotiating immediately. If you continue to negotiate, relationship problems could arise and you may reveal secrets that should be kept confidential.
The only three good reasons not to get a deal:
1) There is no Zone of Possible Agreement.
2) You do not find any common interest or value.
3) Your BATNA is better or you have a better Plan B.
|Bad reasons for not getting an agreement and how to solve them
If the reasons for not reaching an agreement are good, we will not think about it and we will not close the agreement. But if our reasons for not reaching an agreement are bad, we will be missing out on an opportunity and perhaps business that we may need later. So it is important that we are clear about the bad reasons for not closing an agreement and how we can solve them.
- If the relationship is bad, try to improve the relationship or change the participants:
A bad relationship is not a reason not to negotiate. We often have to negotiate with people we don’t like, but you cannot always choose with whom you can negotiate. Imagine two diplomats from different countries or two politicians with opposite ideologies. The first thing we have to do is try to create a good relationship: be interested in the other party, be kind, use appropriate non-verbal language, introduce ourselves, create a little bond, find common ground with the other party and make small talk on peripheral issues of the negotiation. All this will help to improve the relationship. If this is not possible because the differences are so immense that there is no way to correct them, we can “change the players”, as they say in the business world.
- If you have “gorilla syndrome” (you like to impress people), practice humility.
Do not try to impress anyone, not even those above you on the hierarchy, if doing so could jeopardise the deal. Sometimes the negotiator wants to impress everyone, but especially the people who have sent him to negotiate. Imagine that your manager sends you to negotiate to buy a product. He gives you up to $10,000 to buy it and you want to buy it for $5,000 to impress him. The other party offers to sell it to you for $8,000 but you are so insistent that the seller withdraws from the deal and leaves. In this case you have not fulfilled what was asked of you. You are a victim of your desire to be the best in the world for wanting to reach $5,000 at all costs, when closing it at $8,000 would have been a good agreement.
- If one party to the negotiation is not present, invite absent people.
This is a typical situation: we are negotiating a contract between a company manger and a seller who proposes computer services that we need at the company. Maybe the missing person in this negotiation is a computer expert/technician, so what we would have to do is invite him to participate in the meeting, or the person who is going to use the computer and can give us important information about his needs.
- If the motivations of the parties involved are not well understood, prepare better and expand your explanation.
Focus your effort on getting the other person to understand your motivations and of course try to understand his as well. Sometimes we do not quite understand what the other party wants because they are demanding many things from us, but we do not understand their motivation or interests. We must ask more questions and benchmark more to understand better.
- If the solutions on the table are unsatisfactory, develop creativity.
Sometimes we reach an agreement, but it still seems to us that it is very good. For example, a French multinational company is negotiating the process of terminating a manager’s employment. An agreement is proposed that is beneficial to him and the company due to early retirement, but he is not satisfied. The only reason for the deadlock is that the manger is not being given enough recognition within the company. This can be solved by holding a small farewell ceremony, leaving him fully satisfied. Therefore, creativity is essential. In this example, a simple tribute dinner closes a complex negotiation
- If there is too much anchorage, reconsider the situation with objective criteria.
Imagine that a company wants to buy offices in the financial district of Paris and has a budget of $2,500,000. It suddenly realises that for the area it needs, there are no properties for less than $3,000,000. It will have to rethink the situation and either lower the requirements for the size of the offices, change the location or raise the budget.
- If the process is chaotic, work on organisation before approaching the substance of the matter.
This is basically when many people talk at the same time in a negotiation. In this case, you have to agree and establish an order: who speaks, in what order, what is talked about, when to establish points, when decisions are made, how and where.
- If there is a lack of time, the planning needs to be improved.
Or maybe you can buy time. Sometimes you cannot reach an agreement due to a lack of time, such as because the other party has to leave due to an emergency or unforeseen event. Rather than failing to reach an agreement, you should propose another date to follow up or give them the time they need right now if they only need a little more time.
- If the environment is not comfortable, improve logistics.
Sometimes voluntarily or involuntarily, the other party can provide an environment that is not very appropriate for carrying out the negotiation. This could be a very small room or one that is too cold or hot, too dark, not adapted or noisy. If this is the case, we must voice our objections and find a more suitable place.
As Steve Jobs said:
“The ability to say NO is incredibly difficult but it’s the most effective way to remain focused and not lose sight of what is important.”
Knowing how to say NO is a fundamental skill for any professional. As is the case with many other skills needed by everyone, personally and professionally, we are not taught to say NO. For this reason, many times we say YES when we shouldn’t, or we say NO in the wrong way, which affects our reputation, image and even our relationships.
Probably, at some point in your life you have found yourself in the situation where you should say NO but you didn’t know how to do it or didn’t dare say it.
With this post you will learn to understand why it is so necessary to know how to say NO, as well as learn the consequences of not knowing how to do it. Most importantly, you will learn a concrete method and the art of saying NO.
Why we are afraid to say no
Throughout our lives, there will be situations in which:
– We are asked or requested to do something that is not acceptable.
– We are victims of abusive behavior.
– A situation occurs that does not work or is not fair and we must change it.
The most typical or classic reactions to these situations can be
– Settle, and say YES when we should say NO.
– Attack, or say a NO in a bad way that can cause conflict with the other party.
– Avoidance, do not say anything. Hope the problem will solve itself when we actually know it will not be.
With all these reactions will drag out the problem itself, and risk it transforming into a serious crisis and endangering our interests or our relationships.
Therefore, we can say that the tension arises between protecting our interests vs. our relationship with the other party.
It’s also possible that on occasion, we are afraid of saying NO because of the fear that:
– People will get angry with me thinking I don’t want to help or that I don’t like them.
– We are afraid to stand up to power or authority.
– Out of compassion, if I say NO, they will be in a difficult or complicated situation.
– Simply because I don’t know how to say NO.
– Or other reasons as good or as bad as the ones mentioned.
However, we must accept that to say NO, is to act positively with people.
A NO can be much better than a YES when we know that we will not or should not keep our promises.
At this post, we are going to give some clues that will allow us to respond to manipulative behaviors that can lead us to destabilize ourselves, first of all, we can find the 1st key: to accept the principle of diversity.
2nd key: to base the relationship on a principle of unconditional respect.
3rd key: to really want to avoid or get out of the conflict.
4th key: to formulate realistic, acceptable and precise demands.
5th key: to control ourselves to keep calm and lucid.
6th key: to identify and express what our common interests are.
1st key: to accept the principle of diversity
Accepting that the other is necessarily different from us helps us to understand the differences, the divergences… that can appear. We cannot ignore diversity, we must understand it and strive to accept it .
2nd key: to base the relationship on a principle of unconditional respect
Whatever the differences are, be respectful of the other party. We will be able to express a disagreement, a refusal…, without judging, without labelling, without devaluing, without insulting Often it is a prerequisite that is positive, to ask others, something like: “It is clear that we do not agree on…, but let’s agree to discuss it and find a solution that satisfies both of us”, let’s be respectful, let them speak even if we do not agree with what they say…
3rd key: wanting to really avoid or get out of the conflict
Paradoxical as it may seem, many people find more advantages, “side benefits”, in entering or remaining in the conflict. Therefore, it is necessary to have a real desire to avoid or abandon the conflict, so that everyone finds more advantages and more benefits than entering or remaining in the conflict.
4th key: to formulate realistic, acceptable and precise demands
Be realistic, don’t ask for the impossible, you’ll never get it. In addition, our requests must be precise and clear (asking someone to make an effort in their punctuality does not mean anything, asking them to arrive at the office at nine o’clock is precise). A frequent obstacle is the misperception that others know (or should know) what we think, want, love or hate…
5th key: to control ourselves to keep calm and lucid
To help us keep our emotions under control, let’s keep in mind our goal of conflict prevention or resolution. We must learn to manage emotions that may put us at risk such as anger, fear, hatred, etc. and if necessary, express our feelings and express our needs to the other party if they are not being met.
6th key: to dentify and express what our common interests are.
To prevent or resolve a conflict, we must find more benefit in avoiding or resolving it than in maintaining it. Therefore, it is necessary to consider the advantages and the interests that we will both find in the resolution of the conflict. In what way will the resolution be more beneficial to the parties involved? What are the common interests to prevent or resolve the conflict?
Summarizing this post, we can say that in order to prevent and solve conflicts, we must finally learn to talk about what makes us angry (divide or oppose…) but without getting angry. Basically, we must take the time to communicate while being respectful to everyone. This is what allows us to understand differences, clarify misunderstandings, avoid frustration, express and take into account the needs of each person.
We all sell and we all buy, whether they are products, ideas or services for our personal or professional life, even if we are not in the commercial department we all sell projects, schedules, negotiations and ideas. Knowing how to sell is a quality.
There are techniques and tools that help us to sell, for some people selling is something more intuitive, for others less and they have to prepare it more but what is sure is that using these techniques we are going to be more effective at selling.
The world today has changed a lot, mainly since the Covid-19 health crisis in early 2020. New sales channels have appeared with more informed and more demanding customers.
Knowing how to find the client and make contact
It is always much easier to sell to a customer who has already bought from us than to a customer we have never worked with before. However, we may find that there comes a time when we want to open up the market and expand our customer base, there are five techniques that can help us along this path:
- The first is to identify our objective well. This is the starting point, we must be clear about who our client is. To make a robot portrait of the type of client that can be interested in our product and/or service, what expectations that possible client has, what their fears are, in summary to make an investigation to gather all this information that is going to be to useful to us and to make a list of all the data, names, contact person, activity, email…
- You have to make yourself known. How? Traditionally, advertising was the medium that was often used to make yourself known. Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, there are many actions that a company can use to make itself known and which are less expensive than advertising, for example, through blogs in the company itself, corporate or professional social networks, LinkedIn. All of them can help us ‘sell’ ourselves and become a recognized expert in our sector if we correctly identify the target or type of client we want to address and choose the appropriate channels.
- Develop your networking. Attend and actively participate in virtual or face-to-face fairs, webinars, business clubs, etc. It is one thing to create networking that is relatively easy, through LinkedIn, for example, and another to enrich it, through visibility on social media, activity on our website, publication in our blog of interesting articles with the aim of maintaining the link.
- Lose the fear of making phone calls, cold calling, video calls…it is proven that these actions are much more effective than email or traditional mail (which is now almost completely disused). It is important to show the customer only information for their needs and / or interests that our product may have.
- Observe what happens with your competitors, what our colleagues in other markets do and even what our own clients do, this is called ‘anticipating trends’.
- Finally, be imaginative and creative. Use all the ideas that will allow us to improve our image and get closer to our clients: organize practical workshops, bet on a daring marketing strategy, practice brainstorming with our colleagues.
At this post, we’re going to talk about a fundamental issue in leadership. That is, empathy helps prevent harassment and encourages building relationships to succeed professionally. It promotes the growth of leaders, entrepreneurs and managers. Empathic people tend to be more successful because they ignore peers narcissistic behaviour and are only oriented towards their goals.
Empathy marks the difference between any two human beings. Also, between two leaders, one who is effective, and one that isn’t. Traditionally, empathy refers to the capacity we have to put ourselves in another’s shoes. Through analysis, we can see that it is something more complex.
Empathy has been defined as one of the capacities that form the basis of modern leadership.
The more the world is technologized, the more the need arises in companies to be led by people who are considered emotionally capable. As people, one of the things that distinguishes us from machines is what makes us ready to develop our competitiveness.
The ultimate enemy of empathy is the ego. The person with least empathy is the most self-centred, because they only think and talk about themselves. This can go so far as the dramatic extremes of a psychopath. A psychopath is someone who has zero empathy. They don’t even consider that they are hurting the other person.
Empathy is a difficult skill to acquire. It requires a lot of practice and real self-interest, but there is no doubt that it is the basis of good communication and modern leadership: it enables us to inspire and persuade others, as well as to create quality interpersonal relationships.
Stronger leadership skills
Showing real interest in the truth evident to another is the key to creating quality relationships and bonds. Being interested in others, opening up to understand how the other person sees the world, doing our best to try to understand it even if we don’t agree with it. Understanding other people’s attitudes, feelings, actions, hopes, fears, and desires and responding appropriately to them.
To be empathetic, it is necessary to dedicate time to people, to team members, to other collaborators, to listen to them attentively and to engage in dialogue. This dedication of time can be in meetings as well as in casual conversations in any meeting place: keeping up with the lives of people with whom we have a regular relationship creates very effective work bonds. With empathy you can really understand the other person and therefore build bridges to create solid relationships and find solutions to possible conflicts.
For a company, establishing and fostering empathetic working relationships is a way of attracting and retaining talent (employees still want to work with us) and, of distinguishing humanized companies from the advance of automated work.
These are the three key steps that characterize an empathic relationship:
- Listen and ask questions with real interest and with an open mind, free from prejudice, to what the other person is Listen in silence, to whatever the other party wants to say and without interrupting. Avoid giving advice.
- Ask about what we have not understood, we should not be left with any doubts. Confirm from time to time what the other person has just said: showing that we are attentive. Try to ask if what we have perceived is what they wanted to transmit to us. Also, to see the situation together from various sides.
- Make a short summary by way of conclusion of what has been heard to confirm that it has been well understood. It is also a good time to recognize a skill or quality in the other.
Empathy for customers
The corporate culture of empathy is paramount in dealing with customers. Here it is necessary, more than ever to train employees, so that they are able to always take the customer into account in everything they do and to offer the best possible experience.
- All company personnel should know the type of customer and have access to market research, interviews, call centre recordings, store visits, complaint sharing and how they behave on social networks
- To offer practical training, to show how not to behave and how to behave with empathy in real life situations. Redesigning new customer service protocols based on training.
- Create corporate habits that give real presence to the client such as a “client chair” in meetings, visualizations of specific clients in the development of projects, build empathy maps that can help learn about clients in depth.
In other words, make empathy one of the key values in decision-making. That’s how relevant it is.
Egoism vs. Assertiveness
When compared with an egoist, an assertive person chooses to decide who to help and who not to help, without falling victim to the ruinous differences. They do not feel obliged by law but act out of conviction.
Literal definition of egoism: Excessive love for oneself that makes one pay excessive attention to one’s own interests.
The egocentric subject thinks “I am the centre of the universe”, and inevitably, leaves others out, which is not the case with the assertive subject: he attends to his own interest without forgetting the interest of others”. The assertive subject does not recognize himself as better than the other, “I am better than you”, but “I am at least equal to you”.
To sum up and finish here. In leadership, having empathy is what shows that we are not enemies. You can follow and accompany me because I will not hurt you.
- All company personnel should understand the type of customer via access to market research, interviews, call centre recordings, store visits, complaint sharing and how they behave on social networks. (post-recording edit?)