Charisma depends on three elements: presence, power and human warmth.
Presence is the first fundamental element, since people notice when we are attentive, just as they notice when we are absent and inattentive, since through our bodies and involuntarily, we transmit it.
This lack of attention in the conversation can make the other person feel affected and perceive us as in sincere people, so that later it will result in a lack of trust, loyalty and relationship with other interlocutors. If this happens, if people perceive us as someone who creates distrust, it will be almost impossible for us to be charismatic.
To be present means to be aware of what is happening at each moment, to pay attention to what is happening, to a concrete fact, instead of being only aware of our own thoughts. It is not easy to be fully present because:
- Our brains are programmed to pay attention to new stimuli, so we are easily distracted, any stimulus tries to capture our
- The constant supply of stimuli can lead us to a state of continuous partial attention, so that we are always partially distracted.
To be present, there are a number of techniques that are very useful and can help you:
- Be physically comfortable: if you don’t like your clothes, if you’re tired, if you feel overwhelmed by the heat etc. you won’t be You should try to feel comfortable where you are going, otherwise it will be harder to pay 100% attention to the conversation.
- Be in the here and now: if you have problems that do not belong to the situation you are in at that moment, you may find that when others are explaining things to you and talking to you, you are not thinking about them, but about your personal problem. This will hurt you need to be focused on what you are going to do, on the conversation you are having.
- Turn off the cell phone: new technologies have made us addicted to them to the point of needless. When you want to focus on a specific aspect, leave a side anything that is a distraction, especially the phone.
- The look: this aspect is fundamental, because the look always says everything, the look breathes sincerity. If you look at the other person’s eyes, they will feel more confident because they will perceive that you are doing it with your heart.
- Active listening: your body is a clear reflection of your. When we are aware of something, such as a conversation, the way we react defines the type of listening we are doing.
- Clarifying questions: asking questions about the topic at hand to clarify concepts shows our presence and attention to the information we are receiving.
- A small increase in our ability to be present can have a significant effect on those around us. If we can manage to have a few moments of full presence from time to time, we will make great progress and have a great effect.
Since this is difficult to achieve, we need to find some tips and exercises to practice to improve our presence and get our attention, such as:
- Sounds: look for a sound and concentrate on it, discover through its vibrations where it comes from and its particularities.
- Breathing: identify the rhythm of the breath, the places where the air we breathe passes, how we expel it.
- Feet: try to focus all your attention on your own feet, more precisely on your toes. If we succeed, we will notice all the physical sensations that run through our body at the same time.
- Eye color: look at the other person and identify the particularity of their eyes, the tone.
In this way, we will be able to focus on a very specific element, so if we practice it in different situations, we will acquire a more focused and concrete ability to concentrate. And over time, we will be able to pay attention to what we are told, avoiding distractions. We can do this because presence is a skill that can be learned, it is a skill that requires practice and patience.
Power is understood as the ability to affect the world around us and to influence others, whether through financial, intellectual, social or physical means. From this definition, we can infer that we see others as powerful because they are able to influence the world around us. This is why people look for clues to an individual’s power in their appearance, in their body language, and in the way others react to them.
Every leader must, in some way, be powerful, but it is not as simple as it seems. Achieving power is a slow process that needs to be worked on, and once it is achieved, it needs to be maintained. Here are some techniques that can help us achieve this:
- Increase self-confidence: it is essential to feel that we have power, if we don’t believe we have it, who will? We must trust what we think, say and do, we must have more confidence in ourselves.
- To know a little bit about everything. We must be aware of the facts that happen, they can affect us, we must also know the past, so as not to fall into the mistakes already made by others. Being informed and knowing a little bit about everything that surrounds and affects us is essential if we want to be a leader and have power.
- To be physically. If we are not comfortable and healthy, others may not take us seriously. Every person who has power gives an image of themselves and what they stand for.
- Speak slowly and it is essential to know how to measure the words and expressions we say, every powerful person is clear and concise. We don’t want to cause misunderstandings or distort what we say, that’s why we have to express ourselves, speak loudly, clearly and slowly.
In short, power could be defined by three concepts: aesthetics, the reactions of others and non-verbal language.
Human warmth is the willingness shown towards others. This quality shows us whether this person will want to use their power for us or against us. This closeness is measured more directly than power, preferably through body language and behavior.
We could say that warmth is a combination of benevolence, altruism and a willingness to make a positive impact on our world towards other beings. All of these qualities are almost impossible to simulate, so it is very difficult to fakewarmth.
Before intervening with others, we must be confident and sure of ourselves, if we do not believe we have warmth,we will not have it; if, on the contrary, we believe we have it, we will go far. For this, we can do different exercises in which we identify some positive aspects that we have or things that have happened to us and we think about how to transmit them to others.
Power and warmth are closely related, for someone who is powerful but not warm may impress us, but we will not necessarily perceive him or her as charismatic: he or she may seem cold, arrogant, or distant; someone who possesses warmth without power may be pleasant, but we will not necessarily consider him or her charismatic because he or she may seem too eager to please or desperate to be liked. The two must be linked because they are both necessary conditions for charisma.
Any leader who increases his projection of power, warmth and presence will increase his level of charisma, and if he succeeds in doing so together, he will maximize his potential in an optimal way.
Charisma can be very helpful in developing effective leadership although there are certain costs involved depending on the type of charisma one wants to exercise. Effective leaders must understand the type of charisma they have and the drawbacks associated with it.
The good leader must encourage their natural type of charisma and develop alternative forms.