At this post, we are going to give some clues that will allow us to respond to manipulative behaviors that can lead us to destabilize ourselves, first of all, we can find the 1st key: to accept the principle of diversity.
2nd key: to base the relationship on a principle of unconditional respect.
3rd key: to really want to avoid or get out of the conflict.
4th key: to formulate realistic, acceptable and precise demands.
5th key: to control ourselves to keep calm and lucid.
6th key: to identify and express what our common interests are.
1st key: to accept the principle of diversity
Accepting that the other is necessarily different from us helps us to understand the differences, the divergences… that can appear. We cannot ignore diversity, we must understand it and strive to accept it .
2nd key: to base the relationship on a principle of unconditional respect
Whatever the differences are, be respectful of the other party. We will be able to express a disagreement, a refusal…, without judging, without labelling, without devaluing, without insulting Often it is a prerequisite that is positive, to ask others, something like: “It is clear that we do not agree on…, but let’s agree to discuss it and find a solution that satisfies both of us”, let’s be respectful, let them speak even if we do not agree with what they say…
3rd key: wanting to really avoid or get out of the conflict
Paradoxical as it may seem, many people find more advantages, “side benefits”, in entering or remaining in the conflict. Therefore, it is necessary to have a real desire to avoid or abandon the conflict, so that everyone finds more advantages and more benefits than entering or remaining in the conflict.
4th key: to formulate realistic, acceptable and precise demands
Be realistic, don’t ask for the impossible, you’ll never get it. In addition, our requests must be precise and clear (asking someone to make an effort in their punctuality does not mean anything, asking them to arrive at the office at nine o’clock is precise). A frequent obstacle is the misperception that others know (or should know) what we think, want, love or hate…
5th key: to control ourselves to keep calm and lucid
To help us keep our emotions under control, let’s keep in mind our goal of conflict prevention or resolution. We must learn to manage emotions that may put us at risk such as anger, fear, hatred, etc. and if necessary, express our feelings and express our needs to the other party if they are not being met.
6th key: to dentify and express what our common interests are.
To prevent or resolve a conflict, we must find more benefit in avoiding or resolving it than in maintaining it. Therefore, it is necessary to consider the advantages and the interests that we will both find in the resolution of the conflict. In what way will the resolution be more beneficial to the parties involved? What are the common interests to prevent or resolve the conflict?
Summarizing this post, we can say that in order to prevent and solve conflicts, we must finally learn to talk about what makes us angry (divide or oppose…) but without getting angry. Basically, we must take the time to communicate while being respectful to everyone. This is what allows us to understand differences, clarify misunderstandings, avoid frustration, express and take into account the needs of each person.